10 Things Every Birth Mother Wants Adoptive Parents to Know.

I came across an article by Patricia Dischler, who is an author, speaker, childcare professional, and a birth mother herself. She created an amazing list of insights that I wanted to share because really, everyone needs to know what a birth mother goes through when she chooses to place her child for adoption.

1. I did not place my child because she was “unwanted.” I wanted her so much that I continued a pregnancy filled with unanswered questions.
2. I chose adoption because I loved my child. This parental love allowed me to put her needs before my own when making my choice.
3. This choice affected more than just me. She has a Grandmother, a Grandfather, and Aunts and Uncles who love her as well, and she will be missed.
4. I wish for the day I can look into my child’s eyes and tell her I love her one more time.
5. I hope that you will teach my child about her beginnings – about where she was born and who I am.
6. I hope you will teach respect to my child by showing respect for me in your discussions.
7. I wish I could be there to answer my child’s questions about adoption, but I trust you to answer them truthfully as best you can.
8. I will never stop thinking about my child. She will always be a part of who I am.
9. I would never try to disrupt my child’s new family with you. I put too much emotion and suffering into making this choice to allow anything to disrupt it – including me.
10. In my eyes, you will always be my child’s Mom and Dad. And that thought brings me happiness.

Placing a child for adoption is truly a selfless act of love. It’s important to understand that birth moms never stop loving their child. When you adopt, a mother has placed all of their hopes and dreams for their child with you. The more you know about what birth moms go through during the adoption process, the more you’ll appreciate just how much they love their child.

I hope this list helps you better understand the world of a birth mom. If you want to know more about adoption, and how we work to help bring birth parents and adoptive families together, give us a call.