For anyone considering adoption for their child, I say, thank you. There is no greater act of selfless love. Your bravery is beyond compare and you are going to give so much to so many with this choice. Our son’s birth mother is an amazing person and she will forever be a part of our family. The magnitude of the decision she made will never be lost on us. We are honored to know her!
Our adoption journey started years ago. We both come from large families, and it was very natural for us to plan on having one of our own. Little did we know, it wouldn’t be quite that simple. We struggled with some infertility issues, which led us to talk about adoption. It seemed completely overwhelming to us. So, we made a few excuses and didn’t move forward. Then, a few years later, we were pregnant. We were thrilled, but at our 12 week appointment, we were met with sadness. We felt more than a little lost and confused.
We took some time before trying to make any decisions about our future. Then, it suddenly became very clear. Adoption. It was calling us and it wasn’t going to let us make any more excuses. So, we began to move. We had no idea what to do or where we were going, but we were determined to start our family. We spoke to people and cold called agencies.
In 2013, we adopted our first son from a different adoption agency. We came out of this adoption experience feeling extremely blessed, but also with a number of questions. Our first agency was a well oiled machine. We made a few personal connections, but all in all it definitely felt like a machine. We didn’t feel comfortable or confident enough to ask many of the questions we had along the way. We felt they were completely in control. Leaving us feeling helpless and in the dark, at times. Although, they were obviously doing a lot of good in the adoption world, we had lingering questions about just how ethical they really were. So, when we started the adoption process for the second time, we knew we wanted to try a different agency.
Once again, we were starting from scratch. We began with an internet search and found Graceful Adoptions. There was just something about their website that made us keep going back. It was filled with pretty much everything we needed to know. They seemed very open and honest about their process and the reviews of people who had worked with them said it all. We immediately had a gut feeling that they were going to be our agency.
Our first phone call with Graceful Adoptions’ staff confirmed our feeling! They took the time to further explain their process and answer any and all questions we had. We laughed and connected on a personal level. It made us feel very comfortable and confident to commit to working with them. This continued throughout our entire experience. We always felt that they were there for us, if we needed to talk or if we had any questions along the way.
We also loved that our birth mother had the same type of relationship with them and was always heard when she needed something. Graceful Adoptions is a birth parent advocate which enabled them to make the most perfect match for us.
We were able to spend time with our son’s birth mother before the birth and at the hospital. There are no words to explain how special this time was for us. I think, before going through the adoption process, there is a lot of fear around open adoption. We can’t stress enough how beneficial an open relationship can be for all involved.
To those considering adoption, I say, welcome to the club! No matter what, adoption is stressful. From the application, to the agency interview, to meeting our birth mother for the first time, things don’t get more nerve wracking than all of it! However, it is for a reason and all of it helped prepare us to meet our son. Because of that, we wouldn’t change any of it.
Adoption is the most amazing rollercoaster I have ever been on. It is by far the best decision we have ever made. Adoption made us a family and there is nothing more beautiful than that.
Lindsay and Ben