A Birth Mother’s Story: Samantha: I Wanted More for My Son
From the moment my son was born, I loved him deeply. But love, I realized, isn’t always enough.
Parenting wasn’t going the way I hoped it would. My own childhood trauma was showing up in ways I didn’t expect—ways that made me question if I could be the kind of mom he needed. I often felt overwhelmed, anxious, and emotionally unavailable. I didn’t want to leave the house or take him places because I didn’t know how he’d act—or how others would react. I started to notice how my pain was becoming his. He began acting out at school, hitting back when I disciplined him, and I couldn’t help but feel I was failing him. I was surrounded by advice, but not support. I just needed a break… someone to step in and help me be a better mom. But no one came.
I considered everything—parenting, abortion, asking family for help. I even begged them. But they turned their backs on me. My mom wanted to be done with me, and the father disappeared after a violent moment that my son witnessed. That was my breaking point.
What I knew for certain was that I didn’t want him to end up in the foster care system. He deserved stability, a family, and joy. That’s when I started researching adoption. I searched websites, read stories, and looked at countless agencies. Most of them made me feel like just another number.
Then I found Graceful Adoptions—and something about it felt different. Real families. Real stories. A real sense of care.
When I first reached out, I was treated like a person, not a case. They didn’t rush me or pressure me. They listened, really listened. They made me feel like I was seen and that I mattered. Like my thoughts and feelings mattered.
After trying to parent for another year, and deciding to move forward with an adoption plan, I came back to Graceful Adoptions a year later. I couldn’t stop thinking about how safe and seen they made me feel. Maybe it was God nudging me back—telling me this was the right path.
Throughout the adoption process with Graceful Adoptions, I was in control. I could speak up about what I wanted and needed, and they supported me every step of the way. There was no guilt, just patience and compassion. I never felt alone. I never felt judged.
I chose my son’s adoptive family because I watched him light up around them. He felt safe. Comfortable. He didn’t want them to leave, and that told me everything. His new mom has that instinct—the same kind of protective love I feel. She’s always there for him. And they didn’t just accept him—they accepted me. They made it clear that I’ll always have a place in his life. They promised to stay in touch, to keep me updated, and they’ve kept their word.
Today, life is quieter. I sleep with his blanket and stuffed animal every night. I miss the sound of his feet running down the hallway. I miss the little voice calling, “Mommy, I love you.” But I know he’s happy. I know he’s thriving—hunting for Easter eggs, drawing with sidewalk chalk, swinging from a tire in the backyard. I know he’s living the life I dreamed for him.
To any birth mother considering adoption: go with your gut. It will be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do—but also one of the most selfless and loving. Your child will one day understand: it wasn’t because you didn’t want them, but because you wanted more for them. And that kind of love never goes away.
If you’re considering adoption, consider Graceful Adoptions. They’re not like the others. Everyone—from the founder to the social workers —makes you feel like family. They treat you with genuine love, respect, and understanding. They put you first. And they keep showing up, even months later, just to make sure you are okay.
Because of them, my son has the life I couldn’t give him. And I’ll always be grateful.
